Friday, 5 August 2011

Sad dream again and again

Like what was happened in the past, again and again, was wake up due to a sad dream...

~
Rushing in sending mother and mother's friends home in several dark nights. After sent, I am walking down alone in dark staircases and driving in the dark roads with fears.

One night after home, policemen come to my door. Wanted to log my statements for a criminal case. Which initially I thought I am not involved in the case, but just there to assist. They found the devices (similar to credit card swiping device) from my house. Which these devices belong to my neighbour, Uncle Loh. I had borrowed these devices from him few days ago. Dunno what reason. And Uncle Loh also promise will tell policemen the truth 1 night before policemen came, which, the devices are not mine, and is someone else doing the illegal work. From their face, I know they are suspecting me when they found the devices. I feel the nervous then and look at uncle. But uncle keep silence this time and didnt realised his promise. I was too nervous, fear and cry...

~
Woke up in the early morning and start work...

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Confirm is Dermoid, and not cancerous

Was pushed into operation room at 3.30PM, and was awake around 6.30PM.

When I am still blur, and out of operation room, Dr told me that, operation is smooth and have the cyst removed!

It is confirm a dermoid, because it contains hair in it. Anyway, report will only be out after 1 week time.

I have the picture of the removed dermoid, and the operation video. if any of you interested to watch, can let me know, I can share it out. Just dont wish to post them here as they are quite disgusting if you are not brave enough.

Friday, 15 July 2011

Confusing

This round, dr make me feel very confuse, remove or not to remove.

When I reached clinic at 9AM, I am the second patient in the queue. When dr meet me, dr did endovaginal scan on me.

But again, he could not found the cyst in my right ovary. And I did not expect that will be a scan today, therefore I had my breakfast before the appointment. I can see at Dr's face that he is very confuse and tense too. He explained to me, that he doesn't wanna cut me then found nothing.

I suggested to dr that, let me try to pass everything out (toilet) and we try a  second scan.

After half an hour, I go back to see dr. Dr again did scan on me, and again the same result! Cannot found the cyst. The left ovary is very clear in the picture, while the right ovary is in blur image and cant really see the cyst.

Dr has no choice, but explain to me, that he doesn't wan't to take the risk to operate and found nothing in my right ovary. I told dr, i believe the cyst is there, is confirm there. Yes, I believe. I have been seeing so many drs and i know there are difficulties in finding the cyst and must have some skills. Dr then suggested me 2 options just to confirm the existance of the cyst, 1) do a MRI check, 2) get another dr who is more experienced / professional in doing ultrasound to conduct a scan for me.

I refuse to both options. As i really believe the cyst is there. I told dr that in my CT scan early of this year, it is stated there a cyst is found in my right ovary. And only 2 weeks ago, i had met 3 drs (inclusive this dr), and all confirm cyst is there.

Dr then request to have a look at the CT scan report. But, suddenly, he was being called out to help his patient for delivery. After about 1 hour, dr came back, and meet me again.

With the CT scan report and the image he took from last 2 weeks on my right ovary, he commented that, it is most likely a dermoid, and only 5-10% can be cancerous. He said, "you can leave it and have it monitor." I was shocked!! I told dr, that he also suggested me to remove it 2 weeks ago, as other drs did. After a few seconds he keep silence, then he said, "OK, i agreed, we go ahead for the operation. As i see most cancer patients were tensed by things like this."

Dr is making me very confused now although I have already decided to go ahead for the operation and have everythign booked. I just hope he is just too busy and forgot about my medical history / record before he told me can have the cyst kept and monitored.

He also told me that, if during the operation, and cannot find the cyst, then he will just do nothing but sew the wounds. But if found the cyst is suspicious to be cancerous, then he might need to remove the entire ovary too. Therefore, everything is depends on the situation, where an open method may be needed to securely and safely remove the cyst.

I hope my decision is the right one and benefit me.


Past scanning experiences
Met Dr Patrick Chia from FMGC on 4-July
1) Ultrasound on my stomach, cant see the cyst.
2) Endovaginal scan, cant see the cyst too.
3) Endovaginal scan, with a newer machine, cant see the cyst too.
Then I go out half an hour to pass everything out.
3) This round, with endovaginal scan, found the cyst! Finally.

Met Dr Paul Ng from Pantai Medical Centre on 5-July
1) Endovaginal scan, found the cyst. :-)

Met Dato Dr Alex Mathews from Gleneagles on 5-July
1) Ultrasound on stomach, cant see the cyst.
2) Endovaginal scan, cant see the cyst.
Then I go pass urine.
3) This round, with endovaginal scan, found the cyst!

Thursday, 14 July 2011

Another challenge - ovarian cyst

Met few doctors last 2 weeks, to get advices for the cyst on right ovary.

I have met Dr Patrick Chia from FMGC, Dr Paul Ng from Pantai Hospital, and Dato Dr  Alex Mathews from Gleneagles. All of them recommended me to have it removed and send for lab testing. None of them can ensure to me whether it is cancerous or not. Based on the shape, Dato Dr Alex says, only 90% sure it is not cancerous, but a dermoid. Perhaps it is a reliable percentage.

Dato Dr Alex suggested to remove the cyst only (not entire ovary) using Laparoscopic surgery (keyhole surgery, or minimally invasive surgery). But it could ended up with Laparotomy (the open method) if failed to remove the cyst using the first method. Really hope the removal can be completely done using the keyhole surgery, because it is less pain, and can recover faster.

Decided to go for the operation with Dato Dr Alex and appointment was made on coming Tuesday.

Friday, 8 July 2011

噩梦经验

你们可有被噩梦惊醒的经验?
我,时常会发噩梦。今早也是。还没到6点,就扎醒了。应该不能用“扎”这个字,是自然醒,不需要挣扎的。
有时候发的噩梦,半梦半醒之间,你会知道那个是一场梦,你会挣扎的起来,不让自己继续睡、梦下去。
今早的,是,吓到立刻醒过来了!

Monday, 13 June 2011

那里招人?

心头好像被大石压着的感觉,透不过气。

队员一个接一个的离开,找不到合适人选填补离职队员之际,又得不到高层的充分合作,无奈也无策。哎。。。

距离上一个队员离职,已有一年多的时间了,但是到现在还是找不到合适的新队员。
有的资历不符。
也有的薪金要求太高,我们高层不愿意付。
来我们公司求职的已经很少了(可能是地点关系),真的成功被遴选出来的,就更少之又少了,然后,又可能因为高层的不合作,整件事情就告吹了。

新的没找到,留下的也不懂会不会继续留下,会多久?
很累。

Saturday, 11 June 2011

幸福

走在mid valley shopping mall里的路上,突然,觉得活着是一种幸福。
更难得的是,能够自力更生,活出自我,做我想做的东西,就更幸福了!

当然的,不能要求太多,满足于现状就好了。